Episode 016: How to Work Through Major Problems


Most of us are fairly good at working through minor problems, which are common in every relationship. But when we have those major conflicts, we often don’t have the right kind of tools to communicate our way through them. 

What a lot of couples end up doing is stockpiling their problems instead of resolving them. And so, when future conflicts arise, what comes out are reruns from those stockpiled problems. If couples are not good at being able to resolve these things, then they just have more arguments stockpiled. They don’t know how to work through things and start to avoid certain topics. This leads to resentment and some emotional drifting. 

Sometimes, too, people make major problems out of minor problems, and there are others who have major problems and they’re minimizing them. So things could get pretty complicated. 

In this episode, we discuss how you can work through these major problems. We particularly illustrate a sample scenario and some language you could use in the event you find yourself in similar situations.

In this episode, you will hear:

  • Focusing on the problem, not the person
  • Keeping your emotions in check
  • Using the “I” terminology to express your thoughts and feelings
  • Giving mutual consideration to each other’s input
  • Validation is the most powerful element of communication.
  • Collaborating to find a mutually satisfying resolution

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