Don Olund is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, executive coach, and author, helping individuals, couples, and families break negative interactive patterns and create healthy, respectful relationships. Don has a reputation for being compassionate, solution-oriented and truly understanding.
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Here are 5 things you should never have to give up for your spouse. Never give up your boundaries in marriage Boundaries are limits we set for ourselves or with others to feel safe and be healthy. Here are two examples: Personal limit: food and alcohol intake to maintain good health. Interpersonal limit: holding to your […]
Clearing the eggshells Eggshells do not promote a healthy environment for family living. Ignoring them is not a good strategy. You cannot afford to keep making excuses and denying the severity of the situation. Yet, why is so hard to clear the eggshells? What keeps you walking on them? The unhealthy attachment – you keep […]
#2: Agree to not spend more than you earn during an average pay period Develop the skill of saying “no” to yourself if it falls out of the parameters of what you agreed together to spend. #3: If necessary, meet with a financial planner to establish a budget If you cannot figure it out together […]
#1: Identify What Makes Letting Go Hard When I observe a client struggling to let go of something I ask a question. “What makes letting go difficult for you right now?” The answers vary based on the event, but here are some common reasons: Fear of what happens after letting go Feeling responsible Fear of having to […]
A sex deprived marriage is symptomatic of a bigger problem. Couples are becoming more disconnected from each other on an intimate level. Many are exchanging romantic partnership for roommates. Here are some familiar patterns I observe among couples today. An increasing number of couples are not sleeping together. Nearly 1 out of 4 married couples sleep […]
Here’s 1 thing to do with the 1 thing Now that you’ve taken some time to reflect, here’s 1 thing you can do with the 1 thing. Tell the people in your life that you love them. It’s that simple. Don’t let spring break go by without telling your spouse, kid(s), or a close friend […]
I’m writing this blog in the Phoenix airport. In about an hour I will be leaving 90 degree temps in route to Chicago where I’ll be greeted by snow and cold. That’s not why I am unhappy right now. I just left my son Jordan after a week-long father/son journey. My daughter Candace joined us for part […]
How to give your marriage front burner time Couples are quick to admit they want to spend more time together. I hear this daily in my office. Moving into that space is difficult. When I ask, “How do you want to do this?” I get a “deer in the headlights” reaction. Couples are afraid to act. Fear of […]
Yesterday morning while laying in bed my wife Marian brought me a cup of coffee. Nothing unusual. It’s part of our morning routine. Until I looked in the cup and noticed she made a mistake. “Sweetheart, you gave me your cup of coffee.” (I drink my coffee black.) “Oh no Big Boy.” she replied with a cute […]
Everything seems to be going well between you. You’re having a good day. Suddenly you say or do something rather benign and your spouse explodes or overreacts emotionally. You’re wondering, “What just happened?” Guess what? You accidentally tripped your spouse’s emotional trigger. What are emotional triggers? Here are a few things you should know about emotional […]