I think it’s important to draw a line with your spouse in marriage. Don’t be confused by the picture above. This blog is not gender specific. It is for males and females.
I write a lot about couples adjusting to marriage and the expectations they bring to the relationship. It is a give and take process, with both sides needing to be open and flexible with each other.
Yet, there is area that is untouchable. It is off limits. You should NEVER have to give this up for your spouse.
If you give it away your marriage is doomed to failure.
Once you give it away, it is hard to get back. Not impossible–but it will take hard work on your part.
What is it?
It is your inner core–your center. Your SELF-IDENTITY.
When it comes to your self-identity it is important that you draw a line with your spouse.
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Are you in a symbiotic relationship?
A symbiotic relationship is one in which one person’s identity is absorbed by the other. This amounts to a loss of self and a one-sided relationship.
You should never feel obligated to give up who you are to make your mate happy. You own this space. Under no circumstances should you be expected to surrender your core self to your spouse.
I deal with this subject at length in my book:Bringing Respect Back: Communicating Without the Conflict.
Never give up your boundaries in marriageBoundaries are limits we set for ourselves or with others to feel safe and be healthy. Here are two examples:
- Personal limit: food and alcohol intake to maintain good health.
- Interpersonal limit: holding to your “no” with others in a matter of personal concern