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Guys, if you read and acted on the blog I wrote last week, What Women Crave From the Men They Love,
you are making your girl happy. From a statistical standpoint it was the most popular blog I wrote by a large margin. I’m talking Secretariat running in the Belmont type of margin! Guys, it will serve you well to become a Modern Man of Chivalry.
Men have cravings too. Talk about an understatement! It’s not too difficult for women to know what men crave. Right?
Hold on a minute. What men crave is not what you think. Does a typical guy have sex on his mind a lot? Uh…yes! But that’s not all
men crave from the women they love.
Ladies, you are really good at knowing what your guy likes. You outclass men when it comes to tuning in. However, if you want to make your man feel loved and secure in your relationship I recommend you focus on three things men crave from the women they love. I cannot claim this is true for all men, but it is for most.
Men Crave Acknowledgment
Generally speaking, guys are raised to be the providers and protectors of their families. They are wired to be problem-solvers, whether at work or home. A guy’s identity is wrapped around his ability to succeed in these areas. Most men bust their butts to take care of their families. What they crave from the women they love is a little acknowledgment.
Sometimes we screw up when we try to fix a spouse’s problem instead of just listening. We get frustrated easily and sometimes withdraw when we sense what we do to help isn’t working. The reason is, men don’t like to fail. When men hear a lot of criticism from the women they love, they will likely withdraw.
So, how do you keep your man from pulling away? It will help if you acknowledge his efforts to provide and care for his family. Men crave this. It is a form of validation. He will be more likely to try to listen better and be more attentive if he gets some credit for doing his job well. This may sound unfair in households where both mates work and acknowledgment should go both ways. I agree it should. Be that as it may, men crave acknowledgment. Maybe more so than women.
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Men Crave Attention
Early in relationship men and women give each other a lot of attention. Later when kids come along attention gets divided. The mother-child bond is often stronger than father-child. This is often due to childbearing and primary responsibilities of caring for children being weighted toward women. Consequently, the emotional needs of women are easily met bonding with children.
Men often have some challenges adjusting to the demands of parenting. They love being dads but they miss alone time with their soul mates. Some guys struggle with a little jealousy. Men crave some attention from the women they love.
Perhaps a few women reading this may feel pressure or have some resentment. It’s not like you have all this time and energy to take care of yet another person! I get it. Especially if your guy is not pitching in to help. If that’s the case, he needs to read last week’s blog and step up his game! (Dude, if that’s you, read this
The main point here is that men are no different from women when it comes to attention. Men crave it too! Not a lot. Just enough to know that you see them more than a partner in parenting, but as your guy who still loves to connect with you.
Carving out time for your man will make him feel something he is not likely to express in words. He will feel wanted, important, and connected.
[Tweet “Men are no different from women when it comes to attention. Men crave it too! Not a lot. Just enough to know that you see them more than a partner in parenting, but as your guy who still loves to connect with you.”]
Men Crave Eros
Here’s where most women think a guy’s craving begins. I can hear it now. “Aha. I knew it! Men crave sex.”
Whoa Nelly! Before you jump to conclusions, let’s take a closer look at eros.
Eros is a Latin word of Greek origin and simply means “sexual love”
. What most men crave from the women they love is eros–sexual love. More than the physical act, men crave the intimate bond that happens during and after sex. I hear this often from men I encounter in my counseling profession.
Men and women are different when it comes to intimacy. In general, a woman needs to be close to her man before
she wants sex. In contrast, a man feels close to his woman after
sex. This can really complicate sexual intimacy. Sadly, for this reason and several others, couples are moving away from sexual intimacy. This is a disturbing trend.
By the way, I plan to address this issue in a book I am currently writing, “Bringing Intimacy Back: How To Re-ignite Romance In Your Relationship”
. It is the second in my series of “Bringing Back…” books.
Tips To Meet What Men Crave
Here are a few tips to consider when it comes to meeting your man’s cravings.
- It doesn’t require a lot of time to meet his needs.
- It does require some consistency. A little acknowledgment and attention every day goes a long way. Eros once a week or more establishes a rhythm.
- Surprise him!
- When your man is going through a rough time at work or otherwise, it is especially important to consider his craving for some acknowledgment.
- Acknowledgment, attention, and eros can happen simultaneously. Do I need to explain further?
What’s Next for You?
Now that you understand three primary cravings of your man, what do you plan to do next? For most women, the first two: acknowledgment and attention do not take too much effort. Eros can be more complicated.
The key is to start somewhere. Work on developing consistency. He may not catch on right away. Or if he does, he may not say anything. After all, he is a guy! However, in a manner of time, you will likely see a difference in him. Caring behavior is reciprocal. It is within our human nature to return an act of kindness.
My Wish For Couples
My wish for couples is that your cravings are satisfied within the sacred space of your relationship. Men, if you anticipate, initiate, and express awe to the woman you love, she will be satisfied. Likewise women, if you tune into your man’s need for acknowledgment, attention, and eros, he will be content. Couples who cure cravings are always satisfied!